The Day I Met Robert

I was pulling out of the grocery store parking lot…and there he stood.

There, next to the highway, brandishing a small white sign that offered a beautiful reflection of the setting sun off of it due to its protective shipping tape coating, he waited.  His bicycle was hand painted, a camouflage pattern, in which I could only guess was his personal handiwork.  The bicycle pulled a trailer, which more favored a Conestoga wagon than typical bike trailer with its duct tape covering, and was painted the same signature camo pattern as the bike.

I did not take the time to read the sign.  I only guessed that he was asking for money.  I did happen to see it referenced a scripture.  He looked as if he might be down on his luck, considering the bike and the trailer, and I hurriedly pulled to the side of the parking lot to approach him.  I knew my tactic.  I would offer him money and ask if I could pray with him.

I reached in my wallet and pulled out a $20, and, if I may be excruciatingly honest, patted myself on the back a little for being willing to give the man my last bit of money before pay day came again.  Carrying myself high, bathed in self-righteousness, I approached him.  His head was adorned with a camouflage ball cap, almost covering strikingly blue eyes.  His short beard was snow white, excepting the yellow tobacco stain circling his mouth.  Around his neck was a delicate silver chain which held a cross embellishing a Celtic pattern.  Beneath the chain was a camouflage sweat shirt, then green shorts, followed by lace up work boots.

I approached him, smiling, and said, “Sir, can I pray for you?” as I handed him the money.  He held out his hand, took the money, followed with an obligatory, “Thank you”, then looked at me.  After a pause he said,

“Yes, you can pray for me, but have you ever thought that prayer might not be what I really need?  Have you thought that maybe to show me love I might just need some of your time, just to talk to you?”

He offered my money back to me, thinking he had offended me.  I told him to keep it.  It hit me, right there, like a ton of bricks, a 2×4 upside my head.  I had totally missed the point of our meeting.  What was I doing?  What had I been thinking?  I was so engrossed in myself, and thinking that of course any homeless man would only want money that I had completely missed why the Holy Spirit prompted me to stop.  I apologized and asked if I could have some of his time to talk with him.  He smiled and a conversation ensued that I hope I never forget.

We talked about the Bible.  He was a true student of God’s Word.  He must have quoted 5 scriptures in our first dialogue, one of which was 2 Timothy 3:16:  “All scripture is God-breathed and useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting, and training in righteousness.”  Yeah, that one was meant for me.   🙂

When a car pulled over to give him some money I looked at what his sign said:

Proverbs 15:16- Better is a little with the fear of the LORD than great wealth with turmoil.

This man was not looking for a hand out.  He was bringing the Gospel!

He reminded me of Philippians 4:11-13:

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.  I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

I stood in true awe of the man standing in front of me, a man I would normally pity.  He was so happy.  He had healing, real healing from whatever his past was.  As a matter of fact we never talked about his past.  I asked him how he came to know the Lord and his response was,

“The past is in the past.  I was in a bad place, a place I don’t like to go back there.  I’m just so glad he found me.”

He said he wanted me to listen to a song.  He tried to pull it up on his MP3 player, but did not know how, saying he normally just lets is shuffle, so I pulled it up on my phone.  I had the privilege to worship our Most High on the side of the highway with this precious man.  His hands were raised, ever so slightly, his eyes closed, and the reverence and love on his face, oh!  The picture in my head is irreplaceable.  No words can adequately describe it.  His sweet, sweet expression revealed a love for his Savior that so many merely wish to obtain.  So many go to church for years and absolutely miss the love that God has to offer, the same love that had shown through on this man’s face.  They are too wrapped up in the “riches” of the world that they miss what “The Church” is all about.

The side of the road was his mission field.  Anyone who spoke to him was someone with whom to share The Way.  He was bold, but at the same time gentle.  I thought there would be no way he would want to be in his situation.  He felt he had the better situation between the two of us, with the freedom to go from town to town, showing the Good News to people with his sign, and “preaching” to those who actually spoke to him, which, sadly, was so few.

For over two beautiful hours I had the honor of talking with Robert!  I have seen him since and was not able to stop, but I fully intend on doing so again should I see him.  I am so, so thankful he would be my friend, and that he would forgive me for a rocky start.

We often think the best advocates for The Gospel are behind pulpits or among stained glass, but I would have you stop to consider, with his few possessions and one little sign, this man has planted more seeds than the majority of us Christians.

Robert didn’t want what I had.  He wanted to give me so much more.

My challenge to you today:  reach out to someone you normally wouldn’t, the homeless, a neighbor  you do not know, someone who normally wouldn’t cross your mind, and look for the ways God is offering to bless you and that person by reaching out to them!

Hebrews 13:2- Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it.

Disclaimer:  If you DO decide to have a conversation with a homeless man and go MIA for two hours (aka, you do not answer your phone) let your husband know because he will be really upset with you and worried about you if you do not.  😉

First Day

My precious son, My sweet, tender, innocent son,

Tomorrow you assume the title you have so longed for, “First Grader”.

I know you are so excited.

I have waited with you, held your hand through the anticipation.  We have talked through the nerves.  We have met your amazing new teacher.   You lunch is ready to pack, your clothes are waiting for you, you dad will cook you breakfast in the morning.

Tomorrow, as I will watch you walk or even run excitedly away from me yet again this year toward your newest adventure I will be reminded once again:

You are not mine.

I am merely a steward of you and your brother.  God has entrusted your father and me to rear you.  For some glorious reason, which we are ever so thankful, God gave you to us for this short time to bring up in His name, to raise to know His truth, to teach you the ways of a cruel Earth, and to find hope in the midst of this ever changing world in the One Steadfast Everlasting Father.

My son, who realized your need for Jesus and asked for salvation not long ago, at the tender age of six, we have you for a short time.  Our Savior has you forever, firmly in His grasp.  Nothing can take that away from you.

Our biggest prayer for you has been answered, that one day you will know your need for the One True God and you will act on the call He places on your life to accept him into your heart.  What a beautiful event that was for your father and I to witness!

Now my prayer for you, precious son, is that you set yourself apart.  My prayer is that you consistently find hope in the Everlasting God.  My hope is that you act in a manner which makes others say,

“This kid has something different.  I want to know more about what he has.”

When you walk through those halls I hope you remind yourself, son, you are God’s child.  I pray you conduct yourself in a manner worthy of that title.

I pray you draw nearer and nearer to your Jesus.  I pray you fall so deeply in love with Him that His is the first face you seek out each morning, the first counselor you pursue when you are in need of advice, the first you ask to hold you when there is trouble, the first you cry out to, the first you rejoice with, the Only which you exalt and make Lord of your life.

I pray you listen to the small voice of the Holy Spirit He has instilled in you the day you asked Him to be the Lord of your life.  I pray you are faithful with little, so that you one day will have the opportunity to be and will successfully be faithful with much.

I pray you have the heart of a lion.

I am praying for your courage, for your empathy, for your compassion toward others.  I hope when you see those left out you make a concerted effort to include them.  I pray you forgive where forgiveness is needed and ask forgiveness where it is needed.

I pray you treat all that you encounter, especially those who may look different, act different, and smell different with the same love The Father has for you.  He is especially fond of you, son, and He is especially fond of every single person on this planet, no matter how they look, what they say, or even how they treat others.  He loves them all son, just the way He loves you.   My prayer is that your heart stays soft and you do what one of your favorite songs says:  “Love like you’re not scared, give when it’s not fair, live life for another, take time for a brother, (your favorite part) FIGHT FOR THE WEAK ONES, speak out for freedom.”  I hope you do this not out of a sense of duty or obligation, but out of the desire to love others the way your Father in Heaven loves them, whole-heartedly with reckless abandon.

Son, I want you to hold your head high, no matter the circumstances.  If someone treats you badly, forgive them.  Understand there is normally a reason, something lacking in their lives, that makes their heart hard toward others, stand your ground, but also extend grace the way God has extended grace to you.

My hope is that one day you do not have time to consider what others are thinking or saying about you because you are too busy seeking out opportunities to glorify the Lord.

Son, I love it when you introduce yourself to people at the grocery store, even when they do not respond to you.  I love how you compliment others.  Do not ever let go of that compassion and deep consideration for others.

Son, I want you to have an easy life, but know that “easy” never achieves growth, so I do not pray for that.  I pray, instead, your character is built on a foundation of Christ the solid rock, molded and made beautiful by the Refiner’s fire.

I know one day you will leave our home and come back only for short visits.  If you are called to marry you will have a family of your own.  We wait in eager anticipation for this, son.  You will be amazing at whatever you do.  But now, I bask in the kisses you place on my cheek.  I relish the hugs.  I soak in the conversations.  I love it that you still want to hold my hand.  I am so thankful for every second you will be under my care and will lavish in all the time we will have with you as you grow.

As we prepare you the best we can, know we will mess up.  Sometimes we will fall terribly short.  I hope in those times you can look The One who never forsakes or lacks.  Also, there will come a point where you have to choose.  You have to exercise your free will.  I pray you make wise choices when those times come.

In the midst of it all, son, I pray He blesses your sock off.

I love you very much, more than words this side of Heaven can express,

~Mom

He’s got this.   🙂

The Peace in The Valley: A Celebration of Life, But What Comes After?

(James 1:2-4)

It’s August 13^th.

A normal day for most, and an occasional day of “Freaky Friday” superstition.

But for us it’s different.

This is the day we celebrate one of two lives we have waiting on us, whom we long to meet in Heaven.

In 2011 we lost a baby by miscarriage.  That child went to be with his or her brother or sister, whom we lost in 2010.  We celebrate the lives of those precious children on August 13^th and January 23^rd because those were my due dates.  We are not sure of the date they fell asleep and awoke in the presence of their Most Holy Maker.

I have gotten to the point where only occasionally I fall apart.  I lost it in church the other day.  Several youth were on stage speaking on their camp experience.  My heart sank with the sorrow that these two children will never get the opportunity to go to camp.  More importantly, they will never get the opportunity to share Jesus with others…

Or will they?

Those children may never have set foot on the Earth alive, but they were a bold and strong testimony to the power of a Wonderful, Merciful Savior.  They were a catalyst in gently bringing me to my knees, to the source of my deepest pain, and My God was right there waiting on me.  You see, He had gone there before me.  (Deuteronomy 31:8)

Let me explain.  Yes, I am so, so sorry I do not have them here with me.  My arms literally ache for the babies I do not have here on Earth.  However, I do know if I had not lost those children there were so many things I might never have experienced, SO MANY emotions I likely would not have felt, and so many opportunities to draw nearer to my God that I might have otherwise missed out on if those children now resided on Earth as opposed to Heaven.  No, I do not have my children in my arms now.  Yes, I missed out and I will continue miss out on their Earthly lives, but I got the opportunity to experience love, deeper than any fathomable Earthly love, support, in the way of family and Heaven, a correlation to my God, in that I have a very small glimpse of what it’s like to lose a child.

Friends, I got the privilege to experience the Peace that surpasses any and all understanding for the first time in my life.  A deep and passionate romance with the Holy Spirit was cultivated in those tender, raw moments of pain and agony.  I got to feel the strong and mighty arms of my Savior wrap around me, like a daddy whose little girl fell off her bike and skinned her knee.  He held me until the pain was more bearable.  I fell off of the bicycle of life.  HE took on that pain and encouraged me to get back up, dust myself off, and keep living.  When no one else understood, when it might have slipped into the back of other’s minds, HE never left.  He was there the whole time.  How did I get that?  I did nothing more than pray earnestly for it, friend.  There was nothing more I did or could have done to receive such a precious gift.  You see, Our God gives freely, all we have to do is ask.

I also received the gift of compassion.  (2 Corinthians 1:3-4) I get the privilege now of coming along side other women who have lost a baby, particularly to miscarriage, and loving on them in their dark, cold, isolating, painful valley.  I have the privilege of saying “This hurts, sweet lady, I can relate, though I might not know your pain exactly, I know how badly it hurts to lose, and I am there for you every step of your way.”  What wonderful gifts God gave me through those beautiful children!  (Matthew 10:8)  I have a deeper appreciation for the fragility and sacredness of life and am (I hope) able to amplify that through my relationship with my children whom I have gotten the blessing of raising.

For me, dying and ascending to Heaven is more than a reunion of loved ones gone before, Heaven, to me, will be a Glorious meeting.  It makes Heaven, for me, a little sweeter.  First, I see myself asking to behold my Beautiful Savior.  As soon as He has kept me in his arms for as long as He can possibly stand it I will run to those sweet children, whom I know I will recognize, and hold them both in my arms for another eternity, until it is time for them  to meet their two brothers.  I will thank those babies for their bold witness to the goodness of our Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

One of the most powerful television events to me was when the Duggars lost their little one in-utero, little Jubilee.  It wasn’t the loss but that the Duggars IMMEDIATELY were able to thank their God for the time they had with their daughter, to thank Him for their daughter, that made this such a profound moment.  This was something that took me YEARS to do.  Now, I’m thankful for every second I got, every physical and emotional pain, every hope, every crushed anticipation, all of it.  It still hurts, friend, it doesn’t mean the pain goes away, but I fix my eyes on my  Rock, my Fortress, my Deliverer, my God in whom I take refuge, my Strength, and the Horn of my Salvation, and take things to him, without anxiousness, in prayer and supplication, and He grants me the blessed peace that surpasses all understanding.   And I know there was a purpose, those little lives had meaning, and they were most precious to Him.  (Psalm 18:1-2) (Philippians 4:6) (Psalm 139)

There’s another thing I would like to address.  For a long time I felt like I did not have the right to grieve.  I miscarried, there was nothing to bury.  It was very early in this particular case.  People are unconsciously cruel and saysometimes well-intentioned yet hurtful things.  I even overheard some moms talking about their friend who had just miscarried, one said, “It’s not like she lost a real baby”.  Sweet sisters who may have heard something like this:   It was your baby.  It was a child, who, if did not already, was soon to have a real heartbeat and already had a real soul.  That child’s days were already written down in the Lamb’s Book of Life and every fiber of his or her very being was woven together by God Himself.  Do not ever, EVER let anyone tell you differently.  You grieve your loss.  Do not push it down or discount it because someone else does not understand how marvelous our God is to create life the way only He can!

While writing this post I was able to go back to the posts on my old business blog from when we lost our two little ones.  We have come so far.  Here they are if you would like to read them, but then again, you already know how wordy I am.  Maybe save them for later.

http://www.hdstatements.blogspot.com/2012/08/a-life-to-be-celebrated-no-matter-how.html

http://www.hdstatements.blogspot.com/2011/01/to-everything-there-is-season.html

Until we meet again, my cherished little ones, you have all the love one Earthly being can give.

Friend, do you have pain; is there a deep longing, an ache in your soul that nothing has quenched?  Let me encourage you to fall head-first into the arms of your loving Savior.  Pray for peace and rest.  Dive into scripture.  Seek out the words He has waiting for you!  If you need someone I am here to pray with and for you.  Just email heritagedesigns@live.com

~Trista

James 1:2-4: Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy.  For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.

Deuteronomy 31:8 – It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 – Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.

Matthew 10:8:  Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, drive out demons. Freely you have received; freely give

Psalm 18:1-2:  I love you, Lord, my strength.  The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

Philippians 4:6-7: Be anxious for nothing; but in ever thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.  And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus